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When children get themselves in a bind, whether it’s forgotten homework, a lost permission slip, a left-behind lunch, or something more serious, parents usually have a strong urge to solve the problem for their child. The parent swoops in to save the day, and the problem is gone. But the child just learned that my parent will solve my problems for me, and that problems aren’t really that uncomfortable. They missed a chance to learn that actions have consequences.

Self-confidence, responsibility, character, and resiliency all find their foundation in the same place. They grow out of the opportunities children create when they make poor decisions and are faced with the consequences that follow.

Wise parents over-ride their own natural tendencies to rescue or to tell kids how to deal with these opportunities. If they don’t, the opportunities are lost. Over a period of time, youngsters start to believe that others are smarter and more capable than they are.

Jake called his dad from college to say that his car had been towed. He tried to explain that it wasn’t his fault because the parking sign was not easy to see.

Dad replied, “Oh, that is sad. What do you think you are going to do?”

“Well, Dad, I was thinking you need to send me $200 so I can get the car out of the impound lot.”

Wise parents don’t rescue kids from their mistakes

Keep reading to find out how Dad responded.

Originally posted 2015-11-11 10:23:34. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

It’s not too rare in 4th and 5th grade to come upon some students that are having a bad time and really wish other people knew about it. This usually involves the students talking, discussing, arguing, shouting, yelling, or name-calling in an effort to express their feelings.

What we adults know is that that method usually creates more problems than it solves. But we also know that even adults are tempted to speak harshly or lash out when we feel we have been wronged.

Love and Logic has a great, simple suggestion for boosting the chance that other people will listen to you. Phrase your concern like this:

“I’d like to share what I’ve been hearing and get your thoughts.”

This method gets the concern discussed without putting anyone on the hot seat. No one feels defensive, so the topic will get discussed and probably resolved.

This would probably solve a lot of problems for people that go to elementary school, or for anyone that has ever attended one.

The rest of the article is worth a read.

Originally posted 2018-09-06 17:22:58. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Originally posted 2018-02-19 13:55:39. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

It might be funny to watch a dysfunctional family on TV, but it’s not fun being a part of one, says Love and Logic in a recent article. Researchers have studied what makes families happy and healthy, and one important discovery has been who family members talk to when the have problems:

• In healthy families, Mom talks to Dad when she is upset with Dad.
• In unhealthy families, Mom talks to the kids when she is upset with Dad.
• In healthy families, Dad talks to Mom when he’s upset with Mom.
• In unhealthy families, Dad talks to his friends when he is upset with Mom.
• In healthy families, Junior talks to Dad when he wants something from Dad.
• In unhealthy families, Junior talks to Mom when he wants something from Dad.
• In healthy families, Junior talks to his teacher when he doesn’t understand an assignment.
• In unhealthy families, Mom and Dad talk to Junior’s teacher when Junior doesn’t understand an assignment.

The pattern is probably clear by now. Healthy communication involves going directly to the party involved in the problem, rather than involving a third party. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, and quickest way to a solution means going to the person involved. Read the whole article here.

Originally posted 2017-04-13 13:35:36. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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Originally posted 2017-05-24 16:58:49. Republished by Blog Post Promoter