MrHowd.com

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”

– Samuel Beckett, writer

Originally posted 2015-03-21 08:47:30. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Originally posted 2015-12-19 07:13:07. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

When kids get stubborn, adults are tempted to turn up the heat by making demands, raising voices, making threats, and showing we mean business. To stubborn kids, that’s a challenge they would love to take you up on.

To reduce the chance of a power struggle, here’s a Love and Logic tip:

1. Approach slowly as if you haven’t a care in the world.
2. Ask nicely, “Will you ______________, just for me? Thanks!”
3. Act cool, turn tail, and slowly walk away.

Research has demonstrated that the odds of getting into a nasty power struggle with a kid dramatically decrease when we’re no longer around them. The true science has to do with expectations and the fact that people will live up to…or down to…the ones we communicate. What expectation do we send when we ask someone to do something and then stare at them? The message is clear: “You’re not going to do this for me.”

In contrast, what expectation is sent when we make the very same request yet move away? The message is far more positive: “This is a win-win situation. I know you’ll help me out.”

Read the rest here.

Originally posted 2016-01-27 17:06:51. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

If your children are constantly battling you in the morning over getting ready quick enough, finding their supplies, and getting out the door on their own and without constant reminders, then Love and Logic has some tips that might help:

• Schedule some time to plan and practice when you aren’t in a hurry.
• Take yourself out of the loop as much as possible (the more you have to remind, the less your student is learning to do these things by themselves).
• Focus on getting yourself ready. This is a good way to model how things ought to be.
• Look for ways to give logical consequences, such as a student forgetting their homework or having to go to school in mismatched clothes.
• Create a backup plan for if a student doesn’t get ready on time.

Here’s what Love and Logic has to say about the last point:

Some parents find it wise to have someone secretly on call. If the kids miss the bus, this person can arrive and charge them for taxi service to school.

By the time they reach kindergarten age, our kids… with good training and consistency on our part… can learn to take primary responsibility for getting themselves up and ready to go each and every day. Kids who learn this find it far more natural to assume personal responsibility in other areas of their lives.

You can read the rest of the article here.

Smoother Mornings

Love and Logic Institute, Inc.

Originally posted 2017-03-01 12:53:26. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

When children get themselves in a bind, whether it’s forgotten homework, a lost permission slip, a left-behind lunch, or something more serious, parents usually have a strong urge to solve the problem for their child. The parent swoops in to save the day, and the problem is gone. But the child just learned that my parent will solve my problems for me, and that problems aren’t really that uncomfortable. They missed a chance to learn that actions have consequences.

Self-confidence, responsibility, character, and resiliency all find their foundation in the same place. They grow out of the opportunities children create when they make poor decisions and are faced with the consequences that follow.

Wise parents over-ride their own natural tendencies to rescue or to tell kids how to deal with these opportunities. If they don’t, the opportunities are lost. Over a period of time, youngsters start to believe that others are smarter and more capable than they are.

Jake called his dad from college to say that his car had been towed. He tried to explain that it wasn’t his fault because the parking sign was not easy to see.

Dad replied, “Oh, that is sad. What do you think you are going to do?”

“Well, Dad, I was thinking you need to send me $200 so I can get the car out of the impound lot.”

Wise parents don’t rescue kids from their mistakes

Keep reading to find out how Dad responded.

Originally posted 2015-11-11 10:23:34. Republished by Blog Post Promoter