MrHowd.com

“…Loving parents allow their children to develop winning skills by allowing them to experience disappointments, make small mistakes, and experience the natural and logical consequences. Shielding them from all of life’s hardships sends the message that they aren’t strong enough to cope with their losses. Loving them through their sadness allows them to win every time they lose.”

Read the rest here.

Has someone ever said to you, “Just try it, it’s easy!” and then you found out the task they coaxed you into trying was painfully difficult? Did this leave you feeling exceptionally capable or downright stupid…and embarrassed?

When this happens to the average adult, it doesn’t take long for them to conclude two things:

• This person who’s trying to help me is nuts…and definitely not to be trusted!
• Why should I try if I can’t even handle the easy stuff?

Quite frequently I overhear well-meaning parents and educators using the “Just try it, it’s easy!” approach in an attempt to urge a reluctant child into trying something they’re afraid of. When the child finds the task easy, all is right with the world. When they don’t, they’re confronted with the pain of seeing that they might be so slow that they can’t even do something really, really “easy”!

Judy saved her own life. She used to listen when her kids argued with her. She used to fall for their manipulation. When her teen daughter said, “You love Billy more than me!” she used to get upset and insist, “That’s not true! I love you BOTH!”

Now she takes better care of herself. When the arguing and manipulation start, Judy goes brain dead. She doesn’t listen to the words lest she be tempted to do something dumb – like respond.